4 Aspects Of Emotional Vocabulary Every Adult Must Manage

Emotions accompany us every second of our lives and condition our actions. Taking into account their dictates, we make decisions, behave in one way or another and interact with others. Given their influence, it is recommended that we learn from an early age to identify, understand and manage them; but this learning does not always take place. Today, we want to remind you of some aspects of the emotional vocabulary that every adult must manage.

Emotional vocabulary is the range of terms, concepts and meanings a person deals with when referring to their internal states. The broader, richer, and more varied it is, the easier it will be to specify what she feels, understand, and convey to others.

Important Aspects Regarding Emotional Vocabulary

Ideally, we should all develop this vocabulary in childhood and enrich it as we grow up. In this sense, some studies have found that children who are helped to develop emotional vocabulary exhibit less challenging behaviors and relate better to their peers.

However, emotional education was not always as important as it is today. So if you’ve reached adulthood and feel like you’re having difficulty doing that, we’ve shown you some basic steps you can take to get started.

1. Have a broad emotional vocabulary

What do you answer when someone asks you how you are? Of course, like many of us, you just answer well or badly. It was found that, in the school environment, the emotional vocabulary used by children does not exceed 10% of the possibilities.

This may be appropriate when the question is asked out of courtesy. However, in circumstances where it is necessary for the other to understand how you feel, these two words do not provide enough information. In addition, you will likely also end up thinking about these terms and not quite understand what is happening to you.

Expanding the emotional vocabulary consists in getting used to using different terms that allow us to express our emotional state in a more concrete and precise way. Instead of “good”, we can feel happy, excited, excited, calm, relieved… And instead of “bad”, we can feel sad, worried, frustrated, angry or overwhelmed. As you can see, these nuances allow for a much deeper understanding.

2. Speak from your own perspective

It’s not just about having a vocabulary large enough to be able to name and identify emotions; it is important to know how to express them properly. For this, it is advisable to talk about what you feel, and not about what the other person did. This simple technique is part of assertive communication and allows you to avoid various conflicts.

If instead of saying “you are cruel and selfish”, you say “I was hurt by what happened”, the other person is more likely to be willing to dialogue and understand. If we focus on conveying our feelings rather than disapproving of the behavior of others, it will be easier to reach consensus and apply change.

3. Know how to differentiate emotions

Even people with superior emotional intelligence can confuse your moods. It is not always easy to tell whether we are angry or sad, whether we are angry or frustrated, whether we are angry or disappointed. The manifestations of these emotions often overlap, and introspection is necessary to identify the true source of the discomfort.

The world we live in is not conducive to internal work; we are always busy and distracted, and looking inward frightens us. Even so, get into the habit of listening to yourself, get used to reflecting when you feel bad, start a therapeutic writing journal… only then will you be able to make your emotions your allies, not your owners.

4. Maintain consistency in speech

Controlling emotions is not easy, but for this it is essential to know how to reconcile our speech with what we use with others. To prepare it, ask yourself the following:

• What happened that aroused an emotion in me?
• How I feel? Be as precise and specific as possible. Use your emotional vocabulary.
• What do I need to do? Take your time and try to identify your needs. Maybe right now you don’t want to talk, maybe you want to spend time alone to calm down, or maybe you need changes in the other person’s behavior. In any case, get used to expressing your needs and making assertive requests. It is much more productive to postpone the conversation or ask for a change than to yell, scold and lose control.

If you maintain this coherence in your speech, it will be much easier for you to understand yourself, be compassionate with yourself, and get what you need. Likewise, you will be in a better position to make yourself understood, negotiate and reach agreements.

Emotional vocabulary expands our reality

No doubt people think with words, and what we don’t have a term for doesn’t exist for us. Therefore, expanding the emotional vocabulary allows us to accommodate a deeper and more complex inner reality.

The ambiguous malaise we feel takes on a name, a recognized origin, and specific guidelines for action. So once you start working on these aspects of emotional vocabulary, you’ll notice a big difference.