Love Comes And Goes, But True Friendship Remains
What happens when couples replace friendships? What do we really lose when we leave our friends behind because of a relationship? Knowing how to find time for both friendship and love is an important point for the relationship to be fruitful. After all, love often comes and goes, but true friendship remains.
When you start a love relationship, it is normal for the person to have less time to spend with friends. Plans with a partner sometimes seem to be more attractive, out of passion; the person feels more like getting to know the other and enjoying these first moments. It’s a novelty that requires more attention, but abandoning the group of friends completely shouldn’t be an option.
A group of researchers led by Robin Dunbar studied and found that when a love relationship starts, two of the five closest friends are lost. In addition, he also stated that couples who know how to enjoy the time they spend with their friends and also have their individual share of time together have greater satisfaction in their relationship.
This is because they learn to divide their time to continue maintaining what makes them happy and creates well-being. In this way, they transfer their emotional state to the relationship and somehow strengthen it.
Love comes and goes, but true friendship is something that transcends time. That’s why it’s necessary to look for moments to continue sharing experiences with our friends, whatever the situation. According to Robin Dunbar’s studies, choosing to share and not devoting 100% of our time to our partner would improve our emotional situation. This is not to say that we should ignore it, it is simply that we have to seek out moments to be with people we also like and appreciate.
leave everything for love
This phrase is quite typical and sounds very romantic, but whoever leaves everything for love abandons himself to enter a “being together” that does not imply the union of two total and complete people, but rather a symbiosis. In this way, part of the individuality is lost to form a collective: two incomplete beings united to cover needs.
But love is not that, love is respecting that the partner has his time, his friends and, definitely, his life, and that he chooses us to share it, but not to make a life totally together. Trust and communication allow couples to enjoy their individual share, regardless of the relationship, without negative consequences.
The phrase “I leave everything for love” is a selfish decision, which implies that if at some point the relationship ends, there will be nothing left, which leads to a very difficult separation. Continuing to devote time to our hobbies, having our space and maintaining friendships provides a full life, which we decided to share with someone. We cannot forget that.
True friendship also takes time
Maintaining friendships requires understanding, but also time, as does building a loving relationship. A time that, although it may not be as constant as before, has to be sincere, quality and dedicated with love. You have to enjoy it.
So, friendship is also love and we have to work on it, pay attention to it and take care of it like a garden. It’s in our hands. The decision is ours. Let’s allow and encourage these beautiful ties not to break just because a loving relationship has begun.
It’s not easy to think that after a friend has abandoned us for love, they come back after a while to make up for lost time or friendship. It’s not easy because no one likes to be abandoned, although there is always time to learn that love comes and goes, but true friendship will always be there.
