Extraordinary Moments, Shared Moments

Many of the most extraordinary moments in our lives are shared moments, they are little pieces of magical complicity with extraordinary people, with childhood friends or new friends, with family members, with summer loves or loves of a lifetime. They were, are and will be happy moments for which we are grateful and which, in turn, give us strength in difficult times.

If we were to put in front of us frame by frame each moment of our existence, most likely several scenes would appear with this special glow: that of joy, well-being and the subtle balance in which, suddenly, life itself enters in harmony. Far from regretting that these moments of absolute perfection don’t happen more often, the only thing we can do is give thanks for them. Thank you for having lived these moments.

Since Martin Seligman directed his work, in the late 1990s, to the study of depression or learned vulnerability in the field of happiness, millions of books have been written aimed at teaching us to “be happy”. They explain to us exactly how to build these extraordinary experiences, how to be skilled in our decision-making process and become architects of this joy, of this personal confidence to shape a day-to-day more compatible with our personal needs.

However, from that time to the present day, Seligman’s positive psychology has received much criticism. In fact, renowned psychiatrists and social psychologists like New York University’s Jerome Wakefield claim that today there is such an obsession with “being happy” that we simply forget to learn to tolerate or deal with sadness.

We forget that happiness, in reality, are moments, precious fragments of time that come and go like soap bubbles, sparkling, that explode and disappear… but that leave us that smile of satisfaction on our face, that breath of hope with which recalls the memory from time to time so that we feel like children again.

Shared moments, the secret of happiness

Let’s close our eyes for a moment and ask our memory to transport us back in time to a happy moment. In just over a second we’ll be at some childhood game with our classmates, or playing in the pool with our siblings, while the smell of chlorine and freshly cut grass comes back to us. It may also be that we see each other with our grandparents, walking around, listening to their stories as they take us hand in hand on our way out of school.

The memory prefers childhood memories, but these moments of happiness can also take the form of an affection under the table, a dawn with the partner or partner lying on the same pillow, or even – and why not? – from that trip with the usual friends.

These shared moments, woven with the golden thread of emotions, complicity and affection, constitute by themselves a unique jewel in our most intimate memory, in our personal history. It is “lived life”, they are patches in which we feel fuller than ever.

Sonia Lyubomirsky, professor of psychology at the University of California and better known as “the scientist of happiness”, explains that to be happy it takes a certain amount of work, a certain commitment, but that if we invest time and effort in this purpose, we will give it to us. account that it can be a lot of fun.

The reason? One way to do this is by learning to connect with people. Having friends, for example, establishing meaningful personal relationships, is a great way to build magical moments more often. Sometimes it only takes a coffee with someone to build an instant of magic and cathartic complicity.

Extraordinary moments are created

Beyond what those frequently used phrases such as that happiness is just around the corner or that good times appear when we least expect it can tell us, it is necessary to be aware of some aspects.  Without a positive attitude, without openness, capacity for connection, observation, without self-esteem or self-confidence, we will undoubtedly find many closed doors. To create extraordinary moments, it is necessary to apply suitable filters in our daily lives with which you can enjoy life better.

Secrets to build quality instants

The first strategy is, without a doubt, knowing how to focus on the things that matter. Being aware of what and who is essential in our hearts is what will allow us to invest time, efforts and energies in these very essential dimensions.

The second step is kindness. Extraordinary moments are often born when we do something for someone or when someone else does something for us, when we share things and moments with the heart because there is affection, the most sincere affection. They are little pieces of time without selfishness or hidden interests.

The third strategy has to do with our ability to connect with the present moment, with what happens in our here and now. Because we must keep one thing in mind: happiness is not programmed, so don’t leave for tomorrow the happiness you can feel today.

The last strategy has to do with gratitude. We must understand that happiness, just as we noted at the beginning, comes and goes. These magical moments don’t last forever. So, while we are enjoying these moments, it is recommended to say thank you. Give thanks for the special people around you, give thanks for being able to live this experience that helps you to grow as a person, to give your best and to feel worthy and deserving of positive emotions.

So don’t hesitate to build extraordinary moments whenever possible…