Living With An Empty Person Also Counts As Loneliness
There are many types of loneliness. The most appreciated is the one that allows the encounter with ourselves and self-knowledge.
However, there is another loneliness that is very destructive and dangerous. It’s what we feel when we share our time and our lives with people who are very important to us, and who are completely empty.
They are important because we choose them freely, project our emotions and feelings onto them, until we realize that they cause us pain and suffering.
Understanding this process by which we fall in love with an empty person is very complex. Often, within our social life, we have friends and even family members with this characteristic.
What can we do about this lack of emotions, empathy and reciprocity? What is the best way to act?
The Emotional Loneliness of the Empty Person
Alexandre Dumas used to say that his father used to complain about empty people. He defined them as pitchers: “the more empty, the more noise they make”.
With this symbolic phrase , we realize that these people do not go unnoticed in our lives and do not leave us indifferent.
But why do we define them that way, with these gaps? What’s behind this kind of behavior?
1. Lack of emotional reciprocity
We are not going to discuss the existence of the soul here, which is the first thing we think about when we talk about this emotional emptiness.
We understand this emptiness as the “lack” of a series of basic emotions.
– They are unable to project themselves onto others to understand, empathize and understand the personal perspectives of those around them.
– Their behavior is based on a set of unconscious rules, in which the priority is themselves. The essential thing is to meet your own needs.
– We say that they are unconscious rules because they act automatically, without evaluating the results. In this type of personality there is no room for mistakes. To make mistakes is a weakness they cannot accept.
– Empty people don’t listen and don’t vent to others. If they do it at any time, it’s for their own benefit.
2. The need to cling to someone stronger emotionally
In their world, they seek to manipulate people to fill their inner emptiness and fill their needs with the emotions of others.
There will never be generosity, altruism or joy in life in their lives, because they are unbalanced. They oscillate between extremes: all or nothing, immense love or absolute indifference.
How to face life with empty people?
It is possible that the first thought is to “keep distance”, but we are talking about emotions, and generally the relationships we form with the people we love.
We have to reflect, evaluate and decide if it is worth continuing with this relationship or not.
Sometimes a certain personality type fits in perfectly with another, but let’s not forget that “people don’t change overnight, no matter how much we wish they did.”
With daily coexistence, with our emotional balance and integrity, we can evaluate our relationships and see what they bring us, good or bad.
Below are some resources that we can use in our daily lives.
– In front of family members: if you have a father, mother or siblings, who act in a cold and empty way, reduce the influence and importance they exert on you and your life. Don’t make the mistake of acting like them. Always show yourself how you really are, what you feel and what you want out of life.
– Faced with a love relationship: if your partner is an empty person, explain how you feel and what you are able to accept or not. You are not an empty person, you have emotions that need to be met, affectionate needs and you want reciprocity. If this relationship doesn’t bring you any of that, think carefully before deciding what your next step will be.
