Whenever You Take Action, Think First About How Your Action Would Affect You

Think of a time in your life when you didn’t feel the least bit proud of your behavior. Perhaps that time you yelled at your mother, disrespected your partner, or looked defiantly at a co-worker.

How did you feel after that? I’m sure that at first you can feel a certain pleasure, since if you had these behaviors, it’s because you felt upset. Somehow you thought it wasn’t fair that they treated you so badly, in a way opposite to what you needed at that moment.

But I’m also sure that later you felt guilty and did your best to repair the damage, even if it was covertly. Think about it.

The ego sometimes causes us to act inappropriately with others without thinking about the long-term consequences this can bring, simply because we let ourselves be dominated by it or by our current emotional state. Just think that this is where keeping control, holding the horse out of control, is a good idea.

think about yourself before acting

A good way to control the ego is to think first about how it would affect us if someone else acted the way we thought they would. Many of our inappropriate behaviors would dissipate before they were executed, simply if we paid attention to the reflection that takes place in this mirror.

If we are able to feel how that person would feel, put ourselves in their shoes or on their skin and understand them, it will be more difficult for us to act impulsively. We will save losses, laments and moments of suffocation.

Learning to use it is essential to improve our social relationships and even our relationship with our own selves, with our egos. We will be much happier if we can handle this ego and keep it in line.

Therefore, whenever you find yourself in a situation where someone has not behaved ideally towards you, and you feel like acting with revenge, envy or hatred, make the mental effort to put yourself in their shoes and think about how would feel. In this we are not so different.

It is smart and rational to be on top of these situations and act calmly, without unnecessary suffering. The “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” is a big mistake and it will only bring negative consequences in the medium or long term.

Some tips for learning to develop empathy

Listen to the other person and open up to them

Sometimes whoever hurt you or didn’t know how to behave as you expected is actually going through a bump, made a mistake, is hurt, or has problems. Perhaps, before criticizing him and wanting to pay him back, which is what we often do, think about whether it would be better to ask him what is going on or why he treated you that way. Maybe you’re surprised and she has a lot to tell you.

It is also necessary that you open up and connect with the other person on an emotional level, that you understand their feelings, but at the same time you are able to help them with their adversities.

Try not to create premature judgments

If we want to develop empathy with other people, we need to get to know them, deepen the relationship and understand that we are not clones of others, and that sometimes some things will bother us, just as they must bother us. We all fail from time to time.

If you find yourself making a general judgment about another person, correct yourself immediately and judge only their conduct, not him or her in general.

Express your feelings clearly but act calmly

It is a gesture of courage and maturity to say what bothers or what we don’t like, both are necessary for good social relationships, although saying negative things is always more difficult and in the end, because we remain silent, we end up taking actions that we later regret.

Understand the other person and show understanding at the same time as you tell them that even though you understand them, you don’t agree. This will be enough for you not to feel annoyed or become defensive.

Do not act impulsively guided by feelings of pain or anger, as this will not help you at all.

The pride always corrupts and makes us more vulnerable, in addition to considering it as a playing partner, often condemns us to defeat. Understand that the other – as the person they are – makes a lot of mistakes, but as much as you. Human understanding and empathy are essential for getting along with others.