The Opposite Of Love Is Not Hate But Fear
What would you do if you had no fear?
One of man’s innate feelings is fear. It’s a natural response to danger.
Fear helps us survive, but it also limits us, and it is used many times to limit our desires. It affects both the body and the mind.
In the face of fear, our body reacts with increased blood pressure, our pupils dilate, and our heart pumps blood with speed.
But sometimes the fear is just in our mind, because it can be imaginary when it doesn’t have a correspondence with a real danger.
There are many types of fear : fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of loss of power and fear of change.
Carl Gustav Jung, a great Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, argued that we all have some characteristics that we hide, and from an early age we realize that this is necessary if we are to be accepted.
This set of characteristics that we do not accept in ourselves is like a shadow that appears at some point in our lives.
Along with this “shadow”, we develop what Freud called “the ego ideal”, which is a personality that we create to fit into our environment without being rejected.
This rejection of the shadow involves many problems, because we don’t accept ourselves out of fear, we don’t love ourselves. Fear is the opposite of love. We do not love for fear of ourselves and we are not capable of loving others.
What would you do if you weren’t afraid to accept yourself, recognize yourself, or be rejected?
He would be free and enjoy his love for himself and others.
What is the opposite of love?
Hate or “odium” in Latin is the rejection of someone or something. In fact, it’s useless. What is the use of hating? You’re welcome. We will only harm ourselves.
Paulo Freire, a Brazilian specialist in education, says:
Love sweetens you, fear hardens you. Love opens up the universe, fear keeps you stuck in yourself.
Why are we afraid to love?
Love is always a risk. Sometimes we have to take that risk and live life, experience the passion of love. Our past experiences and our beliefs limit us and provoke the fear of love.
Our fear of love stems from our lack of love for ourselves. If we cannot love ourselves, how can we love another person?
Our self-esteem or the consideration we have for ourselves is an aspect that we must improve in order to be able to have self-love and love other people.
Argentine psychologist Walter Riso proposes some keys to improving self-esteem:
– Praise yourself. Every time we do something good, something positive, we should praise ourselves.
– Reward yourself. Any achievement of our lives, no matter the size, deserves an award. The award can be something simple that we like.
– Eliminate repressive beliefs that keep you from moving forward. While sometimes we must put limits on our feelings, at other times we have to let them out. What’s wrong with crying in public or showing your love for someone in front of other people?
– Do not be ashamed of your successes and efforts, enjoy them.
The extreme case of fear of love is philophobia. A person with philophobia has an intense fear of love, falling in love with someone, commitment and intimate relationships.
Philophobic people use several mechanisms to defend themselves from love and stay in their comfort zone:
– They fall in love with impossible people.
– They start relationships that are doomed to failure, because the two are very different.
– They provoke discussions with the partner, so that the other takes the initiative to break the relationship.
– They look for the faults of the other person, to justify themselves.
How can we overcome the fear of loving
Fear of love is a normal feeling if you have already had negative experiences; but we cannot let him rule our lives. We cannot run away, but facing this fear helps us to move forward.
Talk to your partner, explain why you are afraid, and look for a solution together.
Communication is essential for us to overcome our fears. It is also necessary to leave past relationships behind and live in a new relationship every day.
