How Do I Know If I’m An Emotional Sponge And What To Do About It?

Tension, worry, sadness, frustration… Sometimes we come home with weights that don’t belong to us. Our backpack is full of alien realities that often wear us out psychologically. This is something very empathetic people experience every day, and if you think you’re one of them, you’ve certainly wondered how to tell if you’re an “emotional sponge.”

Many tell themselves they are too empathetic.  It’s common to be one of those personality types who find it easier to fit into the reality of others and, in turn, slip into their emotional universe often. However, another no less complicated factor is added to empathy itself in these cases: hypersensitivity.

That is, there are those who, despite being a very empathetic person, tend to deal well with this reality. The challenge comes when you include that trait in which it is a little harder for a person to control emotions, and he is even more sensitive to environmental stimuli.  Sometimes all you have to do is walk into an office where a group of people work to instantly be contaminated by that stressful atmosphere.

There is another obvious but interesting fact at the same time. People who see themselves as emotional sponges have always manifested this emotional hypersensitivity. This is a characteristic that manifests itself in childhood and often causes them to accumulate certain amounts of stress and anxiety over time.

How do I know if I’m an “emotional sponge”?

To know if you are an emotional sponge, it is not enough to know that the other person’s emotions affect you. It’s being able to put yourself in the shoes of others very easily and getting involved with other people’s feelings until you somatize. This emotional impregnation often translates into physical fatigue, headaches, insomnia …

Likewise, some studies, such as those conducted at Indiana University by Dr. Davis Mark, show that empathy falls on a broad spectrum. That is, there are people with much less competence in this skill and there are those who, on the other hand, have a very high sensitivity. The latter case, when combined with hypersensitivity, forms the basis of what is commonly known as the term ’emotional sponge’.

Does this mean that whoever fits this profile may be doomed to suffering? No. The truth is that this set of personality traits characterize someone more susceptible to any emotional stimulus. This is complicated to deal with and the situation almost always takes its toll on the psychological plane, it’s true (greater stress, anxiety, etc.). However, it is possible to learn to manage.

To know if you are an emotional sponge, just pay attention to the following key points…

You “absorb” with greater intensity the negativity that floats around you and somatize it

We already stated at the beginning: the most empathetic and hypersensitive people process the stimuli from their environment more intensely. To this is added another fact: they spend practically their whole lives somatizing emotions , both their own and those of others.

This causes, for example, many people suffer a more severe psychological breakdown in their work environments, which can lead to anxiety disorders. In addition, it is common that at some point they end up suffering from empathy attrition syndrome and even burnout syndrome .

On the other hand, the simple act of talking to someone who is going through a difficult time also makes them process that time in a stressful way. In this way, although they connect and feel the happiness of others in a stimulating way, it is the negative valence emotions that take a greater price.

The emotional sponge has very specific personality traits.

Men and women, children, adults, seniors… The combination of high empathy and hypersensitivity arises at any age.

To know if you are an emotional sponge, you just need to meet at least 60% of the following factors:

• Be very reactive to the environment (anything affects you).
• High empathy.
• Tendency to take responsibility/take care of others’ problems.
• Show a high emotionality.
• Problems dealing with emotions.
• Be very reflective.
• Tendency to analyze each situation in the extreme, however small it may be (thinking a lot about that conversation, about what was done in the morning, about what was decided yesterday…).
• Tendency to self-demand.
• Process each fact in a very personal way. If something happens in the closest environment, you reflect if what happened has something to do with you.

• Be very sensitive to criticism.
• Special appreciation of artistic manifestations (art, music, etc.).
• Negative news affects you with great intensity.

What should I do if I suffer from sponge person syndrome?

How do I know if I’m an emotional sponge? And if I am… what should I do? It is common that, in the journey of the personality’s life that combines high empathy and hypersensitivity, disappointments, the pain of carrying the suffering of others, feeling professionally exhausted, as well as high stress and anxiety, are frequent.

Therefore, if you identify with these characteristics, it is possible that you have a certain vulnerability in your mental health.  Therefore, it is essential that you apply basic survival strategies in your daily life:

• Switch from reactive empathy to self-pity empathy.  As far as possible, it is necessary to direct some of this energy that we pour into others on ourselves. Treating ourselves with compassion is asking ourselves what we need and giving it to ourselves. It is also knowing how to set limits to protect ourselves, knowing that we cannot reach everyone and that there is no problem with that.
• Working on ecpathy. This concept is not the opposite of empathy, but complementary. It consists of developing a balancing strategy to protect yourself. Ecpathy is a mental resource that allows us to engage with others from a healthier level, without getting immersed in their emotions.
• Management of daily emotions. Another essential strategy is to learn to mitigate the impact of everyday emotions, both our own and others. Knowing how to identify, understand and reduce the intensity of this emotionality is a way to live better.

To conclude, we must remember just one more detail. It is always appropriate to consult professionals when we feel overwhelmed. Conditions like empathy wear, for example, often take a heavy toll on our lives. That way, we can learn to channel and use our skills in a more positive way.