The Thicker The Armor, The More Fragile The Person Inhabiting It

Being a fragile person implies having a special sensitivity that the person protects through an armor, adding layers in the face of each disappointment and frustrated feeling. Even the most sensitive person can turn cold when they feel threatened by a situation they are unwilling to go through.

There are situations that are difficult to face, assume and overcome for all of us, such as abandonment, rejection, contempt, guilt, etc. In situations where we feel especially vulnerable, we will withdraw in order to protect ourselves. This is a fundamental thing to preserve one’s integrity.

Each person’s personality and temperament influence their behavior in these types of situations that can cause great emotional pain. Therefore, there are those who expose themselves to painful situations without protecting themselves, with a certain tendency to masochism, until they get tremendously hurt and hurt.

Other types of people, on the contrary, remain cautious: when they anticipate a situation similar to that of some previous experience, they are able to put up barriers and become impenetrable, indifferent to any emotion or feeling.

being fragile doesn’t mean being weak

Both types of people described above are at opposite poles, even though they are dependent on the same frailty.

Frailty is commonly related and confused with weakness: being fragile indicates the intensity of one’s emotions, the sensitivity to experience one’s feelings and the difficulty in showing oneself as it really is for fear of being hurt.

Being fragile I can be strong in the face of circumstances, advancing and conquering my fears. However, I do not allow myself to be sensitive, even though I am internally suffering, feeling sick and feeling alone. I want to look strong by dressing in my armor, making me believe that nothing affects me, when in fact it affects me so much that I feel I can’t take it anymore.

We are able to prove our strength when we continue to trust despite betrayals, when we move forward despite our fears and our sadness, when we show our vulnerability and sensitivity to those who deserve it.

showing me the way i am

When we repress emotions, when we put up walls in front of everything we feel, people can only see us superficially, and we even treat other people the same way, thus having superfluous relationships without a real commitment.

Can we truly know each other this way? Do we give them the opportunity to really get to know us? Adding layers to our armor has these consequences: we move away from who we are. We live trapped by fear in order to keep ourselves locked in pain.

When we are especially sensitive, we develop our ability to avoid being in ourselves, we face the world by developing different profiles, which are different depending on our personality: the shy and embarrassed, withdrawn, excluded, complacent, generous, those who are always available, etc.

Somehow, all these are our masks with which we protect ourselves, adopting a predefined role. And so we avoid, whenever possible, talking about ourselves and entering into who we really are.

Learning to know myself giving way to my emotions

I will surely feel the betrayal again, they will hurt me again, and the scars of my wounds will open again. It’s something I can’t avoid, because it’s part of life itself, of my journey through it. If I really want to live it, learn to know myself and connect with others, I will need to expose myself to everything that can happen, even though I feel fragile.

My insensitivity, coldness, my armor, the armor and the walls I build are not the solution. Hiding and blending in with others is my own mistake, the role I play to feel safe. Everything is a falsehood, a deception that prevents me from recognizing myself.

We anesthetize our sensitivity by preventing it from expressing itself, because when, in the past, we had the feeling of having found the person to share it with, we were betrayed. You have to accept yourself little by little, building again an even more real love.

This process is the most vulnerable as we are rebuilding our identity taking it a step further, learning to explore and recognize the sensitivity we hide behind locks. At the same time that we are more exposed, we are more likely to be hurt, because these changes imply a transformation in the relationship with another person and in the established roles.

The disappointments we experience, both from ourselves and from others, help us to see more clearly what kind of people we want to be with. We are selecting through deeper issues such as values, honesty and authenticity.