How To Eliminate Guilt And Worry?
Our lives are full of moments of guilt and worry, two emotions, which most of the time, only serve as a distraction when we live them. We feel guilt for what we’ve done and worry about what we might do, forgetting to live in the present.
Two Wrong Zones: Guilt and Worry
Guilt and worry are part of our wrong zones and, even though they are different emotions, in reality we can say that they are at the extremes of a given moment in time. Thus, when we blame ourselves for something we are not enjoying in the present, for being immobilized by something that happened in the past, and when we worry and become paralyzed by something that is still in the future, over which we don’t usually have control. Both coincide, therefore, in immobilizing us in the present.
The remorse for something that happened yesterday and the fear of what it can cause tomorrow, usually drive us crazy in our day-to-day. The world is full of people who don’t feel good, either because of something they shouldn’t have done, or scared by things that might happen. Perhaps, even we are not exceptions.
The blame process
Society finds itself continually sending us messages of guilt and concern. We’ve been brought up, for the most part, to believe that these emotions are normal in our lives. But how does this happen? Does someone issue a message to remind us that we were bad people, for something we did or didn’t, feel or not feel, say or not? So our answer is a bad feeling that bothers us in the present. So we become guilt machines. Guilt can be one of the most useless emotions. Think about it. We spend a lot of our energy feeling guilty about something that happened in the past, and we are immobilized by situations that can no longer be fixed. And it’s no use, because we can’t change anything that happened.
learn lessons from the past
We need to know how to differentiate guilt from the learning of the past. Guilt, as we have said before, is the paralysis of the present, which can range from a slight malaise to severe depression. It prevents us from acting now, because we behaved in such a way before. In this sense, we spend our energy on something that has already passed, being useless and harmful to ourselves. No matter how big the blame, it won’t solve or change any problem. But unlike the feeling of guilt, learning from the past implies avoiding the repetition of some behavior, with the intention of learning from our mistakes, without becoming paralyzed. Learning from our mistakes is healthy, and very necessary for our personal growth and development, as it allows us to move forward.
Some strategies to eliminate guilt.
As we have already seen, guilt is a useless emotion that only serves to paralyze us and lose the present moment. Therefore, looking at the past as something that cannot be changed can be of great help. Whatever guilt we choose will not help solve the problem, because we cannot change the past. Burn this into your mind! Add this information to your usual repertoire of thoughts.
– Ask yourself why you avoid the present because of the past. In this way, little by little, you will be able to eliminate the need for guilt.
– Start accepting the things that you have chosen but that may upset some people. You have to accept yourself, so the guilt you feel for not getting the approval of others will disappear.
– Start keeping a guilt diary, in which you will write down all those situations you feel guilty about, indicating that you are wasting time in the present, because you are distressed by the past. This will allow you to deepen your understanding of your guilt.
– Try to show the people you relate to, those who manipulate you through guilt, that you are able to face the disappointments caused by your own behavior. The result will take a while to show, but people will change when they see they can’t make you feel guilty.
Go ahead! Use the past as a springboard, but not as a sofa.
