A Simple Technique To Improve Social Skills

What happens if we’re driving on the road and suddenly see fog in front of us? The normal thing is to reduce speed and brake. That way we can go slower and see the road better. Because the way we act in a situation like this can be applied as a technique to improve social skills.

All of us, at some point, have had to face an embarrassing moment, had to deal with some unexpected criticism or found ourselves involved in a conflict that we didn’t want to be part of. If we use what we are going to call “the fog on the road technique” we will be able to do very well in all these situations.

Give us time to react to improve social skills

The technique of fog on the road makes us brake, slow down the emotions we feel that make us react impulsively to what is not to our liking. For example, if someone makes an unexpected criticism, we may be angry and tempted to react in a way that we really don’t want.

Humiliating, embarrassing, or conflicting situations can bring out a part of ourselves that we feel we can’t control. A part of us that wants to protect us from what we consider an attack or that is putting us in the spotlight. Thoughts like “you’re judging me”, “you don’t value me”, “you want to humiliate me” will provoke a reaction from the nerves and emotions that are on the surface.

But what happens when we let emotions completely take over our actions? Usually later we want to pull our hair out because our emotions have given way to impulses that we would have liked to channel otherwise.

Thanks to the fog on the road technique we can become aware of the importance of stopping to reflect, at least until we can see the situation more clearly. In this way, we can also allow ourselves to observe our emotions to deal with their energy and message in a way that works best for us. That way, our social skills will improve, we’ll have to apologize less and make fewer amends.

We can postpone everything that catches us off guard

One of the most treacherous temptations – and also one of the biggest contributors to our survival – is to react immediately to something that catches us off guard. This something can be, for example, a conflict or a criticism.

Often, instead of taking a break and using the fog on the road technique, it feels like something inside is screaming “you can’t wait!” and we need to speak, discuss, refute or justify ourselves in the situation we are involved in.

Currently, most of this kind of “surprise” happens in the social context: it is very rare to find a lion walking around the city, which perhaps, yes, would require a quick reaction on our part. In other words, in most cases we have enough time to let the emotional fog dissipate and give a more coherent response and, above all, one that does not harm us in the long run.

If we put fog on the road into practice, if, for example, our friend threw it in our face that we can’t always be with him, due to our work or certain obligations, we wouldn’t argue by shouting that he’s not always available for us either. us (loudly, reprovingly and visibly irritated).

That would be the instinctual and emotional reaction, so to speak. But with the fog technique our way of acting would probably be very different.  In the face of our friend’s accusation, we would control our impulses and tell him “I understand you’re angry because you think I’m never available to you.”

We’re not saying we’re okay with this, but we’re sending a message to our friend. We understand what he’s thinking, which will at least calm things down a little.

This will give us time to reflect on the situation and be able to talk about what happened when no one is angry or upset. Thus, we will be able to make our friend understand that not being together always is not being together at all, and that he also has an important space in our life, even if he has to share it with our responsibilities and our work.

As we can see, the fog on the road technique is a technique for improving social skills that we would all have to put into practice, at least in the situations that can most harm us. Thus, we would prove the efficiency of this technique, how it helps us to relate in a healthier way and also how it helps us to better deal with our emotions.