Contempt: When Others Ignore Us

Contempt is a social practice that consists in disqualifying another person for indifference. The person speaks and it’s as if he doesn’t say anything. Ask for something and it’s like you don’t need it. In other words, it’s like it doesn’t exist. This is despise: exhibiting behaviors that make someone understand that they are nobody.

It must be said that contempt is a form of moral or psychological violence . An expression of cruelty that some people or groups believe they have a right to demonstrate. It is very common for the victim of this practice to be someone in a fragile condition or otherwise considered inferior.

Contempt is equivalent to the symbolic elimination of someone. It’s a way to give you a social death. There are many cases in history where this symbolic murder precedes the physical murder. This kind of premise becomes the justification for concrete violence, carried out against specific people or groups.

different levels

Symbolic disqualification or elimination is not always of the same degree or intensity. Contempt applies to certain feelings or ideas, as well as to people as a whole. Furthermore, it can affect certain social groups, such as different forms of xenophobia or discrimination.

An idea is neglected by saying, for example: “ what you say is totally wrong ” or “ thinking like that is a mistake ”, or else “ this way of thinking is stupid ”. The question is: who has the  real authority to radically disqualify what the other person thinks? What can be done is to present opposing arguments or evidence to the contrary. Maybe expose or raise different ideas, but not disqualify the other.

The same goes for the contempt of feelings: “ you can’t be feeling this ”, “ how can you be afraid of… ” or “ you’re crazy to be worried about… ” All this implies denying the symbolic world of the other. Who would have the right to ask for certain fears, emotions or anything else to disappear ? Nobody.

social contempt

This type of practice is also carried out socially or collectively. It does not necessarily imply “laughing” or bullying directly. Indifference is  enough  to make others feel they don’t matter. This is what many governments and individuals do to people in poverty. They are called to vote, but the policies implemented do not take them into account in any respect.

This also happens daily in some cities. They are designed not to harm motor vehicle traffic, not to protect pedestrians’ lives. Therefore, anyone who owns a car, especially a luxury one, feels that the street is theirs and that they can go over anything. It’s not an exaggeration; more people in the world die from traffic accidents than from any known disease.

Bureaucracy is a specialist in despise. This happens when you have to go through formal processes and they play with their time as if they were doing it for sport. They send you from place to place, sometimes impose disproportionate demands, make the process difficult, and so on. All this to justify that a function that can be performed by a single person must be performed by 20. This is due to poor management or the exchange of political favors.

fight contempt

Contempt gives rise to violence in those who are its victims. This violence is not diluted: either it ends up turning against the person who originated it, or it turns against the victim himself, making him ill and compromising his well-being. In either case, sooner or later society ends up paying the price.

It is important, at the individual level, to develop attitudes to combat contempt. We must be aware that, for this, there are no weapons in series. The most appropriate, then, is not to get carried away or allow them to make us insecure or make us feel inferior. They are the problem, not us.

At the social level, there is a call to promote inclusion. No matter how different we are from others, we are all entitled to a place in society. Nothing forces us to share or accept the feelings, ideas or conditions of others. What we have is an obligation to respect their right to be as they are, to think as they think and feel as they feel. Our well-being depends, in large part, on this mental range.