Happy Memories Also Leave Scars
The mythical Audrey Hepburn said that the best thing to be happy is “to have a bad memory”. There is some truth to this, for in many fields of psychology it is generally agreed that if you think about the future you will have anxiety, and if you think about the past you will have depression. But what about happy memories?
We’ve all experienced the paradox of remembering happy moments and feeling a deep sadness invading us, born of the feeling that what happened is far from happening again. At these moments, when we share them, our voice usually chokes with a residue of nostalgia, as if it were the echo of a time that has passed and to which we would return, at least for a while, without thinking too much.
So, putting our mental time machine to work, even if it’s to a place where something we’ve cherished, can upset our mood. Even the punishment we were given after doing a good prank now seems, in the light of our minds, something pleasant and joyful. Therefore, good memories make the bad ones fall asleep, and also leave scars.
The error of remembering thinking we’re still the same
Sometimes we struggle to look back on the past by convincing ourselves that few things have changed. We remain the same, collecting wrinkles and debts that we can still take on.
Sometimes we remember it as the only way out to feel good, to distract ourselves or to talk a little with someone who has already left us, saying goodbye or not, with or without an explanation. The fact is that in good things we always find a regret for its ending, even more when it seems or is definitive.
It is not possible to clone the same experience. Many of the experiences we live end up being so beautiful because they had an ending. Perhaps it is true that we have to assume that this time was the most wonderful, that we are right to reserve a place in our soul for it.
It is the first step to be part of a very special group, a profession with a great future, the creator of wonderful moments.
Happy memories will always remain if you leave them alone
Wishes are good memories that carry you into the future. We want to be able to build in our lives that special feeling that one day, in the past, invaded our minds, bodies and spirits. Memory constructed details of the memory that we didn’t know how to integrate at the time.
The truth is, it can be a lot harder to remember a happy time than a sad one when you’re down. The sad memory gives you the reason that there have always been reasons in your life for you to be unhappy. A good memory makes you think: “ Am I wasting the best years of my life for not feeling again what I remember today as my best time in this world? ”.
The scar of bad memory hurts you, it can make you feel angry or angry. The scar of good memory bleeds because it evokes, with sadness and melancholy, better times.
What to do to heal the scar from a good memory
There are memories we fall in love with. Passages of our life that are filled with invented details that follow in accordance with the general feeling of this moment, making it stronger in our memory. It is like a love that evolves and remains externally in the first stage of idealization.
The best thing to break this aura is to confront it with reality. Not with the reality of that moment – of course you can’t go back to it – but with people who shared that moment with you and who can give you a more realistic view of what happened and how you felt.
When you treat the memory as a whole and stop betraying yourself by thinking it’s like a romantic movie, you’ll realize that nothing that happens to us is absolutely good or bad, it just contains nuances of it. Be aware of these limits as well as anything positive.
The fact of having tried something once makes it happen with different people and in different ways, because when we taste something really good and sweet, we are prepared to know how to appreciate it all over again. Push the miscalculation out of your looking into the past and open your eyes to take advantage of the new path that lies before you.
If we look at it with realistic eyes, the happy memories will not stop being happy, but you will have the feeling that all that is good is gone. Thus, the happy memories will no longer be scars and will become footprints of what you lived, as if they were left while walking on wet sand. You like the feel of these footprints and thus they allow you to walk to another place in a pleasant way.
