I Want A Hug So Strong It Breaks My Fears

The hugs that are not asked for, that assault us and that involve us, have a great healing power. Human beings are social creatures full of emotions and need this daily contact, with which they reaffirm their relationships and, at the same time, feel loved. Beloved ones.

In our space, we talk very often about the need to learn to be alone, to avoid unhealthy attachments that sometimes bind us to things and people to the point of vetoing our personal growth. However, everything has its balance and its reason for being.

We all need to be attached to something or someone in some way, no matter how much we resist. We all have wings to fly, but also roots in which we attach ourselves to love, to enrich ourselves with those relationships that also define us: friends, family, partner, children…

The hug, bond of love and security

Hugs, like physical contact, are part of our psychological well-being as well as our development. Although most living beings need this contact to relate to others, in the case of humans, the need to caress, hug and feel skin on skin also fulfills other dimensions that are worth knowing.

Our social brain needs hugs and caresses

When we arrived in the world, our brain, far from being mature, did no more than develop by approximately 25%. The rest of the structures and neuronal connections will be determined, above all, by the first 5 years of life, in which the style of creation will be decisive.

We have to think that, during these first months of life, there is no language and communication is established through emotions, caresses, kisses, hugs and that warm voice that cares and offers security.

If a child is not attended to when he cries, if he is not rushed to soothe him, if he is shaken, or if he is not cared for with sincere love, all this creates stress. A brain used to secreting cortisol is a brain that doesn’t develop well.

Social isolation or deprivation of cuddling when small causes many brain cells not to mature  into the white matter of the brain. In turn, less myelin is also produced, which is essential for neurons to communicate with each other.

All of this would cause certain cognitive delays, in addition to social and emotional deficits.

The Importance of Hugs in Love Relationships

A hug is sometimes more important than words. Nonverbal language directly impacts our emotional world and our love relationships, and it has an even more special meaning if it is accompanied by physical contact.

Something as simple and elementary as a hug provides an immense feeling of fullness for the giver and the receiver.  Both win and it is considered, at the same time, a gesture capable of nourishing our brain, capable of providing us, at certain times, with more benefits than food itself.

Hugs are not requested, are not a bargaining chip, nor are they required. It’s also worth bearing in mind that not all hugs are the same; if they come from a person we love and who lives in our heart, then our brain releases oxytocin, the hormone related to well-being and pleasure.

Nothing acquires as much meaning as a hug when faced with moments of doubt or emotional distress, when fears and anxieties visit us.

The fact that we feel enveloped with strength, love and sincerity by this special person almost instantly soothes the cold of the soul to show us that everything is fine. That the world is calm.

A hug relieves stress, reduces anxiety and promotes our physical and emotional health. A hug brings us closer to the person we love.

As we said before, it is important to always maintain self-esteem and avoid the exaggerated attachments that leave no room for personal growth, we know that.

However, in a relationship these gestures are vital to reaffirm the relationship itself, because we all need to feel safe and receive protection while offering it to the other.

Finally, it is about two beings building the same unity. Consequently, don’t skimp on hugs, put them off for tomorrow, or let your partner ask for them.

Practice the “bear hug”, the one with such force that it takes your breath away, but at the same time, it conveys messages such as  “I support you, I share your joy or your sorrows and I love you”.

Image credits: Shaun Tan, Lucy Campbell, PEIBEE, Kyungduk Kim