I’ve Changed, Now I Give Each Person The Value They Deserve
Almost always, the experiences we live change us, help us to re-establish our priorities and our concepts, not to let them step on us, take advantage of our ideas or make us feel small. In short, they offer us the possibility of giving each person the value they deserve.
Prioritizing and giving each person their rightful position in our lives means building, solidifying the foundations of their own self-esteem, strengthening the concept we have of ourselves and being able to discern what is positive and what is negative for us.
To do this we must assume that not everyone should have a voice and vote in our lives. Trust and priority are two privileges that are “conquered” and “built up” , so it is essential to give ourselves the privilege of accepting or not that someone has weight in our daily lives.
Mature is synonymous with growing and prioritizing
Over time, we become experts in “perceiving” what really interests us. We talk about healthy and insane bonds, people who enrich us and people who harm us, customs and expectations, etc.
We are obsessed with pleasing the whole world, which ends up creating the feeling that we are surrounded by quantity rather than quality. Usually this changes over time and whether by years or damage, we begin to prioritize those we consider important in our lives.
It’s not about having eternal friends or lifelong loves. It’s not a matter of wanting to achieve perfection in one person. In fact, it’s about reconciling our priorities by making us aware of our affections and enriching our relationship baggage.
Don’t live by appearances; they always change
The need to appear is notorious in the consideration we make of our relationships through social networks, and also in not straying from what we don’t like.
The people who have value in our lives are chosen by us, as is the priority we give them. The steps we go through dangerously determine the masks we wear and the masks others wear. Therefore, in order to unmask selfishness and false companionship, it is first necessary to clean one’s own lenses and realize the suicide that means pretending to be as others hope and yearn for us to be.
The importance of knowing oneself and valuing one’s own concerns
Each one is as he is, and the range of qualities that characterize us must belong to us, not respond to the impositions, priorities and interests that others manifest on us. It’s hard to do this self-examination, but it shouldn’t scare you.
To achieve this kind of freedom it is necessary to examine one’s own emotional past and present, analyze what kind of priorities are accumulated and what (and to whom) they correspond. This is important when cleaning up the mess that inhabits our lives.
Usually we don’t care about this and let the pain of “those concessions” that we offer at the expense of our own identity accumulate . We don’t reflect and that, no doubt, makes us feel the need to escape from ourselves.
However, this is totally meaningless, as it is as if an allergy sufferer put all the dust in the house under the rug, thinking that this would not affect his health and would not hinder something as vital as breathing. Viewed in this way, there is no doubt that those issues and people who are negative to us end up appropriating our present.
This takes the place of what is positive and hurts us. Really hurts. So when you’ve learned enough of the pain of giving inappropriate priorities, you look inward, heal yourself, and climb another step. A step from which you shout: Enough! I won’t give others the value they don’t deserve.
