Letter To Self Love: I Am Me, You Are You
“I’m me.
You are you.
I’m not in this world to meet your expectations
You are not in this world to meet mine.
You are you.
I’m me.
If at any time or at any point we meet
Will be amazing.
If not, there is nothing to be done.
I stop giving love to myself
When trying to please him, I betray myself.
I stop giving you love
When I insist that you be as I want
Rather than accepting you as you really are.
You are you and I am me”.
These words were written by Fritz Perls, a great psychoanalyst neuropsychiatrist who, together with his wife Lore Posner, endeavored to explain to us in a simple way how we create our world. Together, they sought to make us understand that by wanting to please others we become our own executioners and that valuing our own feelings as true and important is the first step towards understanding ourselves and moving forward.
The truth is that the lies that hurt us most are not the ones we tell, but the ones we live. There are times in our lives when we can fall into the trap of living in a false reality that sometimes even we can come to believe.
Living locked in the cage that we created ourselves means believing in some values and promulgating others, showing ourselves strong but not being there, feeling fear and hiding it, showing interest even without having it, and a multitude of possibilities.
We can reflect our lack of authenticity at many times in our lives. It’s as simple as denying that we ate the last bit of chocolate that was in the cupboard or that we weren’t the first to find the broken shutter.
Why is inauthenticity so common?
In fact, this is closely related to the way our parents and society raised us from childhood. Since our birth, we have been indoctrinated to repress our feelings and our emotions, to avoid expressing what is real to us and what we really feel.
We create an exterior that looks nothing like the reality we experience on the inside. It often happens that our ideals are not the ones we fight for, and that our ideas, our fears and the goals of a life do not correspond to what we actually manifest…
All of this negatively affects our vital development, and only encourages us to wear a mask we’ve had since childhood. In general, our parents and teachers taught us to reject certain emotions such as anger, fear, or even pain that caused us to hide them.
For this reason we believe that we can become indifferent to these emotions, when in fact this is not the case. Fear, pain, or anger are always there and are a big part of our life experience. However, we tend to be strong and emotionally repress frustration and the expression of pain.
Another contradiction that we absorb like sponges since childhood is whether or not it ‘s okay to lie. The elders always lied while talking so we wouldn’t lie. Little by little, we became aware of this and realized that we had to accept the lies and, at times, also collaborate with them. Thus, we have taken this option as natural, although we feel very bad and only get a small benefit at a very opportune moment, that is when we manage to get something.
self love
Keeping our self-esteem very high and showing how we really are will not please everyone, but in this way we will build real, pure, open, honest and independent relationships.
Accepting and committing to who we really are will make us not afraid of what we want and who we are, to express ourselves to whoever wants to hear us , but it will also arouse the envy of those who did not dare to unify their inner truth with the truth external.
It is true that challenges are not for everyone, but we can all experience them and even overcome them; depend on us. Being authentic and keeping your self-esteem healthy will help drive away the lie, encouraging you to be the same at all times and not missing the love you owe yourself, self-love.
