Never Regret Being A Good Person
Don’t regret being a good person. How many times have we thought that it’s not worth it to be one? Something always happens against you; good gestures are not always accompanied by recognition. And it’s not just the recognition, you often noticed that your gestures weren’t even noticed by the other.
When our act of kindness is not noticed by people, frustration and impotence hurt our bodies and our feelings. Especially when this situation persists over time and happens to the people we love the most. However, people who like to care for and do good should not lose this instinct of “love” and care for another just because it is not noticed by others.
The “fair world theory” makes explicit a cognitive bias that we all use in one way or another to process information. We often expect to receive the same attention that we give to others, as if it were an exact mathematical operation. We hope that we will always get what we deserve, but that doesn’t always happen. How nice it would be if this world were a just ecosystem, with clear laws that tell us in advance what to expect. However, this is not the case.
The difficulty of being a good person in a world that is not fair
The world is not fair. The world surprises us with its balance of forces and the scale of priorities of its inhabitants. Some of them put their self-interest above justice, while others show a special sensitivity to people’s mistakes and rudeness. Many of them punish (consciously or unconsciously) the goodness of others, and revere behavior that is born out of evil or hate.
In fact, we often believe that good people will be rewarded – and bad people will be punished. But there is no such law in real life. Life surprises us with its casualness and randomness. This misconception generates many expectations that do not correspond to reality. It’s as if we were imagining what will happen to us.
Life is not fair in this respect: there are good people suffering and bad people victorious. The world sometimes looks very confused. However, this does not mean that goodness is meaningless, that it should not be valued or recognized. It’s especially necessary to value relationships.
kindness always returns
Good people bring light and shine to relationships. Never regret being kind because people don’t notice and appreciate your kindness. There will always be people who will appreciate your gestures. The most important thing, as you can imagine, is not what others recognize you as being, but that you feel comfortable with your own way of loving life and people.
To be a good person is to collect the arrows that we launch into the world with our delicate bow. The released arrows always revert to states of peace and tranquility. To the extent that what we do is “from the heart” and without waiting for the recognition of others, we will be able to feel good about our goodness and we will not regret anything. Believe that it has the power to comfort us, even in the deepest part of our being.
When I act from the heart, I am being fair to myself and to each other. However, if we want something from the other, we can ask for it. You might recognize yourself in this example: There are people who, in order to get love and attention from their partners, are very thorough with them. And when their partners don’t return the gesture, they get angry and blame the other for not reciprocating.
Sometimes we disguise manipulation with boundless kindness.
Often manipulation masquerades as a tender kindness and involves misunderstandings, discussions and excessive energy expenditure that could end with an honest and simple statement of intentions.
If I want the other to be thorough, I can ask. But I will have to accept if he acts in a forced and unnatural way. You want this?
Perhaps it is better for our mental health to accept that the other person is probably not going to show their appreciation in exactly the way or at the time we would like. We must not lose authenticity, being a good person means not caring whether you receive something in return or not.
If you are a good person only to get something in return, be honest with yourself and act in a more genuine way, without resorting to those little manipulations that end up creating a lot of suffering for yourself and for the other. Also, you should never regret being a good person. Kindness always returns in the form of inner peace.
