Romanticism These Days
Romanticism is not opening the car door. It’s opening the doors of the heart.
Romanticism is not about holding each other’s hands. It’s holding your emotions and taking care of them.
Romanticism is not about reciting Shakespeare’s poems. It’s creating your own poems.
Romanticism is not about being a great conqueror, nor a woman who dreams of princes riding white horses. It’s believing in someone real, who loves you even when he’s in a bad mood, even when he’s not in perfect shape, and when he comes into your life without a horse or carriage, but with that sparkle in his eyes that makes the structures tremble.
Romanticism is not saying the right thing; is saying the wrong things the right way. It’s being honest and kind, especially at the time of criticism, at the most difficult times, when everything seems to fall apart.
Romanticism is talking in a normal tone with the person you love when you want to scream. It is knowing how to get around situations in which there is disagreement and misunderstanding, silencing it, so as not to break the bond of trust and respect on which the love of your life is based. It’s waking up in the morning and smiling for no reason, for the simple fact of being able to contemplate the other’s face, one more day. It’s knowing how to stop, when you want to destroy like an avalanche. It is to caress when the other needs it, even without knowing it. It is also to step away when the need is for a moment of privacy, tranquility, or simply, when you want to be alone.
It is being the friend at the time of conversation, the companion at the time of solitude, the lover at the moment of passion. It’s being yourself without disguise, artifice and lies, even at the beginning of the relationship. This is tremendous chivalry.
Romanticism these days is not about being the perfect man or the woman of your dreams. It’s not saving the maiden from harm, or being that fatal woman with long legs and long flowing hair. Today, the prince can walk, and be a real heartthrob. The princess may have short, spiky and untamable hair, yet possess an absurd and elegant femininity. Attributes of real people, not fictional.
It is not necessary for him to let her go ahead, but to allow her to move on.
She doesn’t have to go to the kitchen in the name of romanticism if she doesn’t like to cook; he must admire her for other qualities, such as working as hard as he does, being a mother and wife. He is not obligated to pay all the bills, if she can also pay. That payments are in common, for shared goals: this is romantic and altruistic.
Romanticism, these days, is making everything a unique opportunity to be with each other
It’s calling your imperfect wife in the middle of the day, saying she misses her and she’s making dinner tonight; it’s doing an unexpected kindness to your spouse, especially when he’s nervous or down. It’s being in the middle of traffic or a boring meeting, ardently wanting to be at home with your loved one. It’s being there when you say you’ll be there, it’s liking your family, not out of obligation, but because it’s yours and contains traces of you; it’s wanting to have children with you, to experience that sacred connection for the rest of your life with the person you love the most; it’s taking your hand when you’re going to say something important, and paying attention when you have something to say (without looking at the television); it is loving you tenderly, not only physically, but spiritually; it is to like to laugh together and not apart. It is traveling with the other to anywhere, including the confines of oneself.
So, do you consider yourself a romantic? It’s not difficult, it’s not complex, just a little personal effort. A dash of empathy, patience and a willing heart.
Is something missing? Ah, of course, a great love, complete and definitive, without any shadow of a doubt.
Text written by Bia Cantanti
Learn more about the author at:
http://muitomaisbiacantanti.blogspot.com.br/
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