Sadness Is Not Bad
When did someone say “don’t cry” when all you wanted to do was just cry? How many times have you pretended “to be okay” while you were hurting inside? How often have you been told “don’t be sad” when sadness overwhelmed you? What happens to the sadness that so displeases those who are not sad? Is it so bad to be sad?
From a theoretical point of view, sadness is a basic emotion that is neither good nor bad. In practice, being sad is not bad, on the contrary, it is very healthy because we are expressing a feeling that would otherwise be blocked. Sadness happens when pain is released, because if it is not released it deepens and makes us suffer much more.
sadness is not a bad thing
Avoiding sadness will not make the reason for your pain disappear, no matter how much someone tells you “don’t be sad” and you try to show your happier face. Of course, optimism and a good mood will help you deal with a painful situation, but forcing a cheerful mood or covering up the pain is not the solution.
In reality, sadness is only bad when it becomes a habit, when you settle down and use it as a way to avoid facing your problems. But everything in life has its time and we can go through difficult times: denying the sadness doesn’t help to release the pain.
Respecting your own sadness and that of others is the only way to let it go without pressure and judgment. Feelings are what they are, and no one has the right to tell you how you should feel or express your pain.
In fact, not being able to deal with grief in a natural way causes many people to express their pain in a very dangerous way. In these cases, we realize how important emotional intelligence, the type of dialogue and the affection we have with ourselves are.
Why is sadness frowned upon?
The problem is, we don’t like to see people sad. Why? Do we feel powerless, guilty or responsible? Are we sad and don’t want to feel that way? Remind us that life is not a bed of roses? It doesn’t matter the reason, but we feel uncomfortable with the sadness of others.
Furthermore, we are often uncomfortable showing that we are sad in public, as if it hurts others or shows our fragility. Sadness is not well accepted and people believe that we must overcome adversity and move on. But one thing does not eliminate the other. You can be brave, move forward and at the same time vent your pain.
Pain is easier to bear when we respect its nature
Everyone has felt sad at some point in their lives and we know from experience that pain is easier to overcome when we let it flow. Cry if you feel the need or seek solitude if it brings relief. The more we try to assimilate the pain, the more difficult it becomes to overcome it.
When you let the sadness flow, your defense mechanisms start working effectively. Some people are able to joke, laugh, and be optimistic, while still crying and feeling sad, but that depends on their temperament.
There are people who need a moment of crying and loneliness to release their sadness, and then they take on their responsibilities and start to think more rationally. Others need more time or the company of their loved ones. In fact, perhaps sadness is one of the emotions that provokes the most different behaviors. Each person reacts in a way.
In any case, it is important to respect the way each one tries to overcome their difficult moments. Denial can be helpful in dampening the pain that has suddenly come and taken over our lives.
