Seven Steps To Falling In Love Again

Having someone in love with you or actually falling in love is a lucky thing.  It’s not just the butterflies in your stomach, but it’s as if you suddenly feel that anything is possible, that you have all the vitality in the world and are able to face whatever you want. It is also an ephemeral state, which opens up a breakup or a love affair with capital letters, like those that are cooked over a low heat .

We don’t decide when to fall in love, or who exactly. It often seems that luck decides where, when and by whom. However,  what can be done is to create conditions for  love to  arrive and  remain .

There must be a willingness to love in the heart. There must be an opening for love. Otherwise, no matter how much a wonderful person appears in your life, you won’t be able to see them, appreciate them, or let them see and appreciate you.

Sometimes the heart closes for fear of suffering. It may be because of past experiences, more or less frustrating, that could turn love into an apparently dangerous terrain. So you close yourself off and don’t let what should flow. However, falling in love is always worth it and these are the seven steps to make it happen.

1. Clean your heart before falling back in love

It’s not a good idea to think about falling in love if you still carry traces of a previous relationship. Motivations like revenge, pride, or the avoidance of pain that doesn’t go away are bad precedents for your heart to truly feel love for someone new.

A nail does not remove another nail, I wish it were that easy. What you need, after having lived a great love and having lost it, is to start a process of mourning and purging your feelings. During this process, your heart is not yet ready to spread its wings and fall in love again.

You must know clearly what the good and bad left in the ended relationship. Identify the reason for the termination and what you can learn from this experience. When all this is clear and you feel that you are already in a state of relative serenity, it is time to take the next step.

2. Take time to be alone, in solitude

It is sufficiently proven that  a relationship as a couple is much deeper and more lasting when those involved know how to live in  solitude. Therefore, it is important that you take time to be with yourself, without emotional commitments.

Remember that, in some cases, the partner becomes an excuse to evade voids in our own existence. You may even believe that you were “not born to be alone”, or that if you get a new partner your problems will end. However, this is not true.

First, you must learn to be comfortable with life by yourself,  without the presence of one or another person who shares everything with you. If you can’t, you may start acting like someone desperate for affection. And it is more than certain that you will find a dysfunctional partner, where, right away, a harmful dependency builds up.

3. Take care of yourself scrupulously

Before you fall in love again, you should pay attention. Take care of yourself  in the full sense of that expression. This means reviewing your health and lifestyle habits to correct any deficiency that may exist.

It’s not just about going to the doctor or proposing an exercise plan to yourself. It’s about focusing on yourself, on your needs. To give value to your well-being, with the purpose of getting to know yourself better and increasing your self-esteem. It is not possible for them to love you without first loving yourself.

4. Fill your heart with courage and bid farewell to fear

Only you know when it is time to open the doors and allow love to come back into your life. The normal thing is for there to be at least a little fear… It’s that  love is supposed to be vulnerable to suffering again,  because there is no guarantee that they will also love you, much less that you will not suffer a disillusionment.

However, if you have accomplished the above points, you will certainly be better prepared to face love and its vicissitudes. What you need to do is take  courage  and say to yourself “I allow myself to fall in love again”.

No precautions, no calculations, no rushing. For love to blossom, you must let it come spontaneously. And for it to come, you must simply open your heart and have the courage to take the risk and love again.

5. Do new activities

Include new activities in your life. It’s time to take that course you wanted so much to do. Or joining a new group of friends, a club, or some kind of community that interests you. By doing this, you will be fulfilling two purposes: you will meet new people and you will get out of the routine you were living until now.

When performing new activities,  the body and mind incorporate a dynamic that prepares the circumstances for something new to arrive. That something may very well be the love that probably won’t knock on your door. You must go out to look for him, without anxiety or anguish. He will smile at you the moment you least expect it.

6. Travel a lot and go out for fun

Traveling is a great way to break out of the ordinary, get out of the rut and meet other people. When traveling, you are positively open to new encounters. You find yourself in a different context and this forces you to “change the disc”. There is nothing better than finding yourself in a state of renewal for love to emerge.

You should also go out to have fun, do activities that catch your attention. Cinema, theater, dance, any entertainment fits here. Everything that puts your heart in a party rhythm. Your open and open attitude will be noticeable to others who also want to start a new relationship.

7. Give people time

You’re likely to meet nice, friendly people, but still feel like there isn’t an immediate connection. This could be because, effectively, there is not enough chemistry, or because deep down you still have some resistance due to past experiences… or fear of suffering.

So, it’s best that you give time to each person you meet who is interested in you. Don’t expect the flame to light immediately: sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. But the truth is that  there are many relationships that are made of time, not “flame”. So, if you like a person, give yourself the opportunity to let yourself know. Don’t just get the first impression.