The Challenge Of Accepting What Happens To Us

Accepting what happens to us is the first step to not running away from our reality and learning to make changes. We often need more time to accept painful events until we are able to integrate them into our lives. On the other hand, this acceptance will help us define a new, more real view of ourselves and what is happening to us.

The challenge that every human being will have to face at some point in life is to adapt to the most adverse circumstances, because what we want doesn’t always happen. A day will come, more or less sad, more or less distant, where we will have to accept events, either to change them or to integrate them into our history.

The best way to deal with reality is to admit our vulnerability rather than try to hide it, but it’s also the best way to build healthy relationships. Acceptance is not cowardice, but a representation of the courage it takes to admit that we are in a place we don’t like.

Life is not what we think, we have to accept what happens

Reality sometimes infatuates us and other times it just crushes us. We need to accept that life is not what we want, it’s what happens to us. Acquiring tools to integrate into our history all the situations we live, especially the painful ones, is a sign of emotional intelligence.

Emotionally intelligent people experience negative and painful emotions without that load of frustration that robs them of their will to live. They know that these emotions are unavoidable and don’t go out of their way to repress them. However, people with low emotional intelligence face an even more painful process, and are not able to differentiate pain from suffering.

Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a personal choice. Usually, we suffer more from what we don’t accept. Denial, when there is a very large emotional impact, is valid as a first defense strategy, but it becomes ineffective when perpetuated over time.

How to accept something that we will never be prepared for?

Accepting what has already happened or should happen is the first step to transcending the emotional impact of any adversity. The fastest way to change our attitude towards pain is to accept what  happens to us, knowing that it can help us in some way in our personal growth.

Our life is dynamic. Since childhood we are in constant change: changing toys, school, friendships, family figures. Accepting that this is part of life, rather than burying it as if it could never happen, allows us to understand that life is made up of cycles that somehow close.

There are some losses that we cannot overcome, but they need to be accepted. Learning to accept the loss is necessary to understand the feelings that are being lived and give them meaning in the present, because time does not stand still, despite the absence. Rearrange the memories so that they allow us to move forward.

We never lose what we enjoy. Everything we love deeply becomes part of us. When we connect with another person, close friends, parents, siblings, partner, this connection transforms us and makes us, in some way, part of their reflexes.

So, in the face of any kind of loss, we need to understand that the person who left left his mark on us. Whenever we want her to be with us, it is enough to look at our gestures, our words and our attitudes so that we can see a part of her with us.