We Are What We Think And The People We Surround Ourselves With

We are not just what we think; the people we surround ourselves with also define us. No environment is neutral, and few situations are alien to the influence that other people can have on us, based on what they say and what they do or don’t do.

We would love for all this influence to be positive and inspiring, but the truth is, we sometimes experience the opposite.

In the literature of personal growth and in the world of positive phrases that flood our social networks,  there is no lack of the classic message that “we must always surround ourselves with enriching people”, those who always bring out the best in ourselves. However, we can recognize that this is not possible in all cases for very specific reasons.

Each of us is, in part, the result of those who created and educated us. We are the product of our interactions with people we meet at school, college, work, and other social contexts.

As it is not always possible to control all the people we deal with, sometimes we are forced to live with those we don’t like.

So, and although in the end experience has shown us how to deal with people who bother us or bring us anguish rather than happiness, these interactions and experiences also define us.

Therefore, all the people in our lives, past and present, paint the complex but beautiful canvas of our existential journey.

The people we surround ourselves with also define us

Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and renowned author of books on motivation, happiness and leadership, points out that each of us is the result of the five people we spend time with the most.

Here, however, there is a small but obvious nuance, and that is that those people we share the most time with are not really always our partners, family and friends.

Due to our working hours, we spend more time away from home. This causes, for example, the influence of co-workers, bosses, and others where we work to largely define our moods.

In addition, there is another detail that we sometimes forget and that also has a great impact on our well-being. Dividing our time into multiple social settings does not always favor our well-being.

Sometimes our days are a complex succession of movements; we run from home to work, to the gym, to classes, shopping, family visits. We spend time with people with whom we get along or not. All of this often makes us accumulate a lot of stress, which we are not always aware of.

Thus, studies such as the one carried out by the Faculty of Social Policy at Singapore Management University  indicate that, although well-being is subjective, people experience greater happiness when they share time with fewer people, since these are obviously meaningful and enriching. .

The people we surround ourselves with condition us

This is a fact. The people we surround ourselves with define us in many cases because, in some way, they are part of the environment to which we have to adapt. This often occurs at the family level. Each of us ends up fitting together like unique pieces in the machine our parents build.

The rules they give us define us, along with the advice, the teachings, the silences, what we see and also the expectations they place on us. I sso can also occur in romantic relationships, where almost without realizing just internalizing many features of the other person and vice versa.

Choose well the people you want to share your life with

Seneca said that life is like a play; it doesn’t matter how long it lasted, but how well it was represented. To this wise message we add another, and that is that in this piece we are not always alone.

There are more actors on the stage of life and it’s up to us whether we’re going to act as protagonists or mere cast characters.

The people we surround ourselves with define us, we know that. You can’t always choose your family, but you can decide, when the time comes, who to contact.

Nor can we “deactivate”, like a video game, those annoying co-workers or classmates, neighbors or acquaintances who are generally not pleasant.

Although we can’t avoid these people, we can learn to manage them by setting boundaries, opening emotional umbrellas, and preventing their behaviors from having power over us.

On the other hand, and here comes the most important thing, each of us has a margin of freedom to decide who enters and who leaves our lives.

Surrounding yourself with good people is not an art, it is a necessity. Having friends and family beside us who inspire us and help us to be the best we can is not a gift, it’s a privilege.  Let’s think about it every day.